


Lament for a Lost Classic

by Lynda_Carraher



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Movie Synopsis, Multi, Silly, Star Trek VII
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 19:04:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20711009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynda_Carraher/pseuds/Lynda_Carraher
Summary: The heart-breaking tale of a great movie that never was.........





	Lament for a Lost Classic

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Star Trek is the property of Paramount/Viacom. This story is the property of and is copyright (c) 2019 by Lynda Carraher.

F L A S H !!!!

Just found in a disused file cabinet at a Paramount / Viacom building slated for demolition. Thanks to the eternal vigilance of the Star Trek fan network (and a bit of judicious bribery of the demolition crew), we have just come into possession of the promotional flyer for … _Star Trek VII_. And now, we are bringing it to you.

That’s right, fans! **_The lost Star Trek movie!_**

It’s a tender love story, a tale of romance lost and found, set against a galactic backdrop of peril and adventure as Kirk, Spock, Bones, Chekov, and Scott battle their way through time and space in a desperate gamble to save the women they love.

It’s true!

Tonia Barrows, Irini Galliulin, Miranda Jones, Leila Kalomi, Rayna Kapec, Lenore Karidian, Edith Keeler, Janice Lester, Carol Marcus, Marla Moreau, Ann Mulhall, Helen Noel, Carolyn Palamas, Mira Romaine, the Romulan Commander, Areel Shaw, Gillian Taylor, Janet Wallace, Andrea, Azetbur, Deela, Droxine, Drusilla, Elaan, Eleen, Gem, Kara, Kelinda, Mara, Marta, Miramanee, Miri, Mea 3, Natira, Odona, Saavik, Shahna, Tamoon, T’Pring, Valeris, Vanna, and Zarabeth – together again for the first time

in

_ ** STAR TREK VII: ** _

_ ** THE SEARCH FOR BIMBO LIMBO ** _

Far, far away, farther even than the Pasadena WalMart is from Rodeo Drive, a tiny isolated planet spins in its lonely orbit. In its harsh atmosphere, only tanning salons, beauty parlors, and boutiques survive, struggling against the encroaching waves of cellulite, tell-tale gray, and middle-aged spread. Here is the final resting place, the ultimate sanctuary, the lonely Elba of the once young and beautiful women who dared to love or be loved by the swashbuckling heroes of The Continuing Adventure.

Here, their dramatic functions fulfilled, they wait out their days, vestigial virgins, tending the flame of long-lost passion.

This is the film that finally tells it all. Where did they go? What happened to them? Did they ever recover from the dreaded SERIES DISEASE which inevitably strikes down young and beautiful women who fall in love with dashing spacemen?

Are they sad? What’s their fate? Do they sit, gaining weight, while the bigwigs debate their next move? Does Shatner, aware that his waistline grows thick, say “I’m still stud enough to deserve a new chick”? Do they dream about staging a coup? Bimbos, what happened to you?

**FIND OUT THIS FALL**

**AT A THEATER NEAR YOU!!!**


End file.
